I’m wearing a new white shirt, so you know that I’m going to be doing some major spilling today.
(note to self consume only transparent foods until safely at home and shirtless)
A week from now the school year will have begun, we will be in the second year of the program, and I will be even further into the gulf of feeling that this time the chickens really will come home to roost.
Much recent therapy has focused on the way I construct low level drama in my life to put off dealing with the big questions: feelings of deep unworthiness and guilt. I’m feeling in the midst of an uptick of this right now: putting off commitments to things at work so that I can have something to worry about. Faithful readers – this is old news for you. To those just tuning in, sorry this show isn’t what you thought I was advertised as.
Perhaps part of my current dilemma is the way in which I’m confronted at every turn by surprising emotional interactions that challenge me to think in the present and figure out what my real feelings are. So a retreat to all the familiar negative feelings seems quite comforting.
I can’t let my passive-aggressiveness lead me, nor can I lead with it.
It’s September first do you know where your registration slip is?