In keeping with what I posted two posts ago, here’s the draft for a post that didn’t make it online on Monday
The roar of the oatmeal, the smell of the infused water…
Deposited back at work after a whirlwind weekend.
Went to therapy (hate that word, would much prefer to say “saw my shrink”) – talked about weight, responses to lj posts, epiphany when he used the word “belittling” , saw how the appearance of an emotion, in this case anger, causes me to use increasingly abstract language to talk about myself. Next thing to work on.
Walked to French Roast on Sixth and 11th, had the niciose salad, popping the yolks from the hard-boiled eggs and laying them to the side, drizzling the vinegar out of the ramekin like it was a precious fluid. My current dietary regime leaves me slightly hungry at meal times, the opposite of having something stuck to your ribs. I hate the slightly sanctimonious feeling this gives me.
Off to the gym. Crunch has a bank of TVs mounted above the cardio area, far too many of them, and yet while they are tuned to some different channels they aren’t tuned to all different channels. Somehow this is even more irritating – you have a choice, but it’s not the choice you want to have. (for someone who watches quite a lot of TV, I generally decry its ongoing drive for ubiquity). As per suggestion ten minutes on the stationary bike, gripping the “sensors” so that my heart rate can be displayed, along with the distance I’ve traveled, the calories I’ve burned, the time I’ve spent. I go down to the locker room and change. On the way out I feel slightly gamy.
From the street I call aa_Bronson and head on up to his apartment to visit. There are other people there, and the situation, all of us ranged around the bed encourages AA to hold court in a way that he usually doesn’t but could do more often, I think. Ultimately we have a talk in which some of the themes from the therapy are replayed and rehashed. We both acknowledge that we want to collaborate again, and now we have to figure out how.
Groceries at Gourmet Garage and then home to pull myself together in time to meet thornyc and go to the opening of “Open House” the exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum