…that claims to be about me and whose claim I am currently choosing to believe on the basis of no empirical evidence whatsoever:

Aquarius

Try to see nightmares as safe ways of understanding your feelings, dear Aquarius. While no one likes to experience these, and would sooner forget them once awake, the quickest way to ensure they don’t return for a repeat performance is to understand what’s being expressed. What’s frightening you? Where do you feel most insecure? Consider these questions and probe for answers. Fear, pain, and anxiety are the most common ingredients to a real cold-sweat nightmare.