From dawne_vs_luna comes this question: “How has life been for you now that you have stopped therapy? Do you find yourself missing it at all?

Life has been for the most part, very good. I stopped therapy after going for ten years, and my therapist and I wound down together, so it wasn’t an abrupt act at all. One of the parts of deciding to stop was me noting those places where I had been using therapy as a way of not taking action in my life, or where I had been using the weekly attention of my therapist as a substitute for various types of attention that I needed. So one of the things that I decided to do was to put the time and money I had devoted to therapy to use on various projects I wanted to move forward. I joined a gym. I started using my session time as a time to cook for myself. I tried to become more regular in my working habits. Making those changes had a huge effect on my daily life and indeed on my feelings of happiness and well being.

Do I miss it? I certainly miss seeing my therapist. He is an amazing guy with fantastic insights. Just this week I also realized that when I stopped seeing him I was left for the first time in eighteen years without a regular de facto witness: someone who week in and week out saw me saw what I was up to and had a reaction. It made me realize that I need to make sure that I work at that more: that I need to make sure that if I want to have contact with friends that I need to initiate that contact, and if I want to have a conversation about my work, I need to initiate that conversation.

I think the process of doing therapy was useful for me, and an important part of my path. I don’t think that it’s necessary for every one. The big difference I notice now is that I can identify my old behavioral patterns and emotional reactions and see them for what they are: reflexes built up over my years of development to help me survive. I can then chose whether or not they are applicable to what ever situation I find myself in now, and if not try to find a new response. That feels pretty darn good.

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