It’s been a long day of culling and packing. My friends Patrick and Thor have offered to come by my house and help me declutter and pack things. There’s a lot that needs to go from my place. Today the focus was clothing. Between being a dandy, having multiple fetishes and doing a bit of cosplay, I have accumulated a lot of clothes some of them that were vintage when I got them have been joined by stuff that is now certifiably vintage (over 20 years old). That’s the case with this knit cap, which turned up in a pile of other things that I was pulling apart in my quest to cut my clothes by half. It’s from Red Dora’s bearded lady, the dyke cafe that used to be next to my friend Rick’s Kiki Gallery on 14th Street.

There’s a lot of stuff here like that: clothes that I bought just for one scene, carefully thrifted boots , bought used from online. Latex and other materials, the cheap clown shoes I used to wear before I could afford the good clown shoes. It’s highly emotional to go through, and I’m grateful to have the company of people who know about kink and clutter, who get it when I hold up a tote bag from Briar Bash, a pipe bear event from the early 2000’s or my Girth and Mirth cap from ’91.

There should be a ceremony for putting your gear to rest, or for sending it off to meet its next kinkster or queerbo. As it is, I can’t help but ask if each thing I hold has lost its charm, or if I’ll never play that way again. As always, sadder and lighter in equal measure.