What does it mean?

Post about crushes received 5 responses

Post about stale cake received 13 responses

Post that ended with the words “depressed and freaked out” received 0 responses

0 Comments +

  1. I just added you as a friend yesterday (you keep popping up in other friend’s comments), so that’s a bit early for me to be commenting on a post about being depressed, but I know where you’re coming from.

    i’ve made a game out of seeing what’s the shortest number of words in a post that will collect the greatest number of responses. It’s always the fluffy stuff…i think people aren’t sure how to react to the serious ones, or feel they should address it in a personal e-mail which might carry a bit more weight.

    HUGS anyway.

  2. LiveJournal is a funny place… there can can be oodles of support for some things and then a bizarre hush when you really reach out. I guess people like responding to creativity, but somehow feel helpless to address another person’s emotional suffering. I don’t know if its a desire not to say the wrong thing, or that people don’t want to be reminded of their own depression. But I know that I’ve noticed the same kind of thing as an LJ pattern myself.

    So, I guess this is a way of saying “It’s not about you” (cliched as it sounds)

  3. Nayland, I love you. Your observations are consistent with mine. So now, it’s science.

    I write here because I can’t get it all in during a fifty minute session. Making a sentence, er, even a sequence of words, requires some processing. I think it’s the processing that’s theraputic, but it certainly helps to get a knowing nod or raised eyebrow aimed toward the couch from the chair sometimes.

  4. Sittin in la-la

    Admittedly, “la-la” is hardly a cri de coeur. And I wasn’t actually trolling for sympathy as much as noticing that stale cake far outstripped crushes, which I thought would be a much hotter topic. I suppose one could make the case that folks can empathize much more readily with the specific distressing occurrence of stale cake than they can with the generalities of “freaked out and depressed”. Above and beyond that thanks for calling me on my tendency to underplay my emotional states.

  5. “It’s not about you”
    I know what each of those words mean indiviually but I can’t understand what that sentence means. It’s as if you we saying that there existed something in the universe that wasn’t…about…me. But that can’t be possible.

  6. Thanks for saying that Chris, because it gives me a good perspective on your journal which, I have to admit, I’ve been loath to comment on, for fear of placing my size thirteens in my gaping maw. Now I feel I can read it in the spirit in which it’s written. This brings up something else. How many folks on lj have told their therapists about it and how many have shown it to them? I’ve been debating sending mine the URL for a while now. I suppose I’ll have to bring it up in session.

  7. Thanks for the hugs – having people in my family who are officially depressed, and reading the journals of friends who clearly struggle with it daily, I should really be a bit more careful about just slinging the word “depressed” around. I would probably be diagnosed with low level anxiety more than depression. And it’s funny – I just posted in your Journal for the first time today as well.

  8. Most people have trouble empathizing I think since they don’t know the situation, it’s hard to offer support for someone that just says, “I’m depressed” without any background knowledge.

  9. Well, it started innocently enough. I tried to incorporate my journal into my therapy by brining hard copy of that week’s entries with me. But it seemed awkward to read during the session, so I gave it up. Later my journal became an issue. And I suppose it’s an issue now, too. Dr Stan doesn’t understand how I can share so much with ‘strangers.’ This, however, is the closest community of friends I have. I’ve shared the URL with my therapists, but they’ve never commented that they read it — of course since all of the good stuff is ‘friends only’ now, they wouldn’t see that stuff anyway. And I don’t like to have them spending their time reading me without being paid. That’s just not fair.

  10. But that’s just what was surprizing to me about the difference in response between the stale cake and the crush posts.

    but it’s a point well taken – next time: “I spent the weekend naked and flirty! la-la”

  11. This time 2 years ago I was in the a psyche ward in SF suffering a nervous breakdown – extreme anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. They pretty much pulled a 5150 on me but I was agreeable. Heavy drugs were my best friend for a period of months. Things are much better now but this time of year is still very iffy for me so I choose to withdraw from family and social events with any sort of holiday celebration or theme.

    I don’t really feel like I want to write about those things. Channeling my energy into music is highly therapeutic for me, plus I feel like I need to shield my friends from that side of myself. Like, it would be rude to let them know what I’m going through. Too much southern hospitality has been bred into me.

  12. Right on! I don’t think a therapist needs to know everything about me to be able to help me. Certain things they just aren’t going to understand, and the nature of LJ is that you can document your feelings in a specific moment – it doesn’t mean you feel that way all the time, but when it’s there in black and white people lose sight of that. Therapy is supposed to help you step out on your own, and doing LJ is a step in that direction. Some steps may falter, but I don’t want them critiqued.

    I often don’t allow comments for my really emotional posts, anyway.

  13. Sittin in la-la

    Admittedly, “la-la” is hardly a cri de coeur. And I wasn’t actually trolling for sympathy as much as noticing that stale cake far outstripped crushes, which I thought would be a much hotter topic. I suppose one could make the case that folks can empathize much more readily with the specific distressing occurrence of stale cake than they can with the generalities of “freaked out and depressed”. Above and beyond that thanks for calling me on my tendency to underplay my emotional states.

  14. “It’s not about you”
    I know what each of those words mean indiviually but I can’t understand what that sentence means. It’s as if you we saying that there existed something in the universe that wasn’t…about…me. But that can’t be possible.

  15. Thanks for saying that Chris, because it gives me a good perspective on your journal which, I have to admit, I’ve been loath to comment on, for fear of placing my size thirteens in my gaping maw. Now I feel I can read it in the spirit in which it’s written. This brings up something else. How many folks on lj have told their therapists about it and how many have shown it to them? I’ve been debating sending mine the URL for a while now. I suppose I’ll have to bring it up in session.

  16. Thanks for the hugs – having people in my family who are officially depressed, and reading the journals of friends who clearly struggle with it daily, I should really be a bit more careful about just slinging the word “depressed” around. I would probably be diagnosed with low level anxiety more than depression. And it’s funny – I just posted in your Journal for the first time today as well.

  17. But that’s just what was surprizing to me about the difference in response between the stale cake and the crush posts.

    but it’s a point well taken – next time: “I spent the weekend naked and flirty! la-la”

  18. I was trapped on a Vancouver-Hong Kong flight; I have the boarding passes to prove it. 🙂

    [I may get flamed for what follows]

    There is a much value in getting thoughts out of the head–in print they can less powerful and less confusing. But I am wary of disclosing too much on here. The ‘net has always had more than its share of pain junkies, who are looking for others with which to commiserate on the pain. And while the support and such I find on here is genuine–and genuinely nurturing and appreciated–it doesn’t supplant real-time contact, particularly feedback. When feedback is what’s needed–obviously it isn’t always.

    Nudity and pron also get lots of comments…

  19. Thanks for the words of commeseration and caution. I do tend to have guarded expectations about online emotional issues, and really my post was more light hearted than any sort of actual complaint. So I’m a little embarrassed by the surge of response from everyone.

  20. Thanks for the words of commeseration and caution. I do tend to have guarded expectations about online emotional issues, and really my post was more light hearted than any sort of actual complaint. So I’m a little embarrassed by the surge of response from everyone.

  21. You’re surprised? How long have you been on Livejournal? Whenever you write anything that’s either long or serious, you will get very few comments. But I once wrote a post that read in its entirety:

    *fart*

    and got a few dozen replies. What does it mean? It means people are mostly looking for undemanding entertainment on here. I don’t let that stop me from writing the occasional serious post.

  22. Several possibilities. The two which come most quickly to mind are : bears care more about food than about unrequited passion ; some people have been too neurotic to pay attention over the holidays/hell-idays.

    Ahem.

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