It’s the first day that truly feels wintery to me this season: pervasive cold, and curdled sunlight that disappeared around four-thirty. Christmas tree stands are up in earnest, and I’ve been wandering through the lower east side, taking care of some errands and kiling time until tonight’s record club.
I’m playing it by ear as far as socializing goes. Death always sucker punches you: last night I got back from the vet’s and climbed into bed fully clothed and started watching movies. At some point I got up to do something and removed Lehigh’s collar from my pocket where I had stowed it at the hospital. Her tags jingled together, and that sound, which has greeted me upon my return home for years, ran though me in all of its import and I broke down again. So who knows what tonight might hold? I’ve given myself the out that I can always run off if need be.
For now, it’s soothing to be bundled up in many layers and receiving the good wishes of friends.

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